Diary of the Dead
by Shadow of Midnight
Summary: Deathfic. Someone looks through the diary of a dead blader. Oneshot


**. This fic is highly depressing and dark. This is a deathfic. **

The teen examined the book, running his fingers over the tattered, bloodstained cover. He drew a deep breath, opened the book and stared down at the words written across the page in small, neat handwriting.

_Journal,_

_Boris beat me again. I don't even know what I did, just that I wasn't enough. He beat me until my control broke and I just lay on the floor, begging for him to finish it off and just kill me. He only laughed and kicked me some more. My whole body is on fire. It feels like I really will die. It's too much to take. _

The boy brushed his hair out of his eyes and noted sadly, the tearstains across the page. The writer was crying.

_I don't know why I'm still alive. I don't want to be. Why should I live? I'm not worth it. I deserve to die._

The reader sighed. A tear of his own fell down his cheek.

"You always said that." He whispered. "It was never true."

_Are there things you get used to? Should someone become accustomed to things? Father used to beat me also. I should stop caring about the pain. It's all I can remember. It's my fault that Mother left. It's all my fault. _

The tear splashed onto the page, mixing with the tears of the lost boy in the journal who wondered why he still lived.

_I want to die. _

The reader wept.

_I want to let go of it all. I want to fly. _

The reader traced the words trapped on the worn pages. He saw the broken dreams they once held which turned to ashes and were lost in the wind.

_My teammates are strong enough to keep living. They'll make it. Spencer, Ian, Bryan, even Kai. If you ever see this, please don't give up. _

The reader sobbed.

_I'm lost. Everything hurts. I can't get away from it. I want it to end. I want it all to end. The rejection from family, from others, the beatings. I don't want it to happen. I don't want to have to deal with it. Boris broke me. I can't make it. _

"I'm sorry." The reader whispered. "I can't help you now."

_Spencer. Please look after Ian for me. Keep him from angering Boris too much. Make sure he remembers that he is still a child. And Spencer, please don't forget that you are a child too. Never lose it like I did. _

"I'll tell him for you." The reader promised silently.

_Ian. Don't lose yourself. Boris is taunting you by offering you power. He wants you to die inside like I did so that he can control you. If you ever want to live, promise me you'll break his control and let yourself keep caring about others. _

"I'll make sure he never forgets." The reader swore.

_Kai. Don't keep coming back to us. The world opened it's doors for you, go through them. Escape. The shackles are loose on your wrists. Don't keep coming back. My shackles are a part of me now, I can't break them. You still can. _

"I'll make sure he does." The reader vowed.

_Bryan. _

Another tearstain on the page.

_Brother, please don't let them play you like a puppet on a string. Don't let them manipulate you. Show Boris that you can't pin down the wind and fly away, Bryan. Fly until the Abbey is just a memory. Don't ever come back to this hell. Whatever the cost. _

More tears fell like rain from the reader's cheeks.

"I'm sorry." He sobbed.

_This is the end for me. And I'm glad. I'm smiling for the first time in what feels like forever as I make sure I'll never wake up again. Goodbye. _

The reader clutched the notebook to his chest. He let his tears soak the pages as he howled with the pain of loss.

_Goodbye._

"This is it." He whispered brokenly, pulling out a pen. "Goodbye." He opened to the next page in the journal and wrote, scrawling letters tearing across the page.

He stood and stared at the page for a moment before turning to the door. He sniffed one last time and stepped outside.

The ink on the final words began to dry.

_Rest in Peace, Tala. May you find the rest you wanted and deserved. I hope you are in a better place then this. I know you deserve it more than anyone else. All those others never knew you and they never knew your heart. _

_Boris never broke you, Tala. You won, you beat him. He never broke you. You broke free. Enjoy the sky you always loved. _

_We'll never forget you. _

_~Bryan_

**(cries) I killed Tala! **


End file.
